Random Medical Tortures

Ottawa Boy

They gave me a fleet enima. It was'nt bad. This realy thin thing stuck up the down stair case, squirt a little liquid in , hold it for at least two minutes, then go to the bathroom and dump it. I only groaned loudly when it went in , no real screaming per say. It was part of the go-LYTELY thingy to clean me out for the camera. Now that hurt !

Barium Enima. Gonna do the same thing with that little tiny thing the pain will be over in an instant , they'll snap some x-rays, no problem. I'm actually getting used to the pain. Just get it over with quick , don't hesitate to scream a time or two if neccesary, and you barely notice it anymore.
WRONG !!!!!!
They gonna stick this much bigger hose in you. With an air bag on the end , on the end thats INSIDE YOU by the way , so it blocks the way out, and they gonna dump HUGE amounts of barium in there and then they gonna take their pictures.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHH !
The doctor was pissed. I leak like a sieve it seems when you try to stick a hose in there and pump it full of liquid. GOOD ! It's about time they got some of their own back. You're not supposed to be sticking hoses and stuff up peoples backsides and pumping them up like a water balloon ! I have no sympathy at all for them.
But I was pissed when I found out later that they didn't actually have to clean up the mess, they just called house keeping and got some kind of janitor nurse or first year student or something to deal with it.
The student nurse training with the doctor tried to remove my IV ( thats a story in itself. They tried to give me a shot to relax me with it, didn't work...figured out the IV was toast and gave me a regular shot ... AGAIN ... the doctor was an expert , didn't feel a dang thing, just a tiny prick and that was it ... dang vampire emergancy nurses ! ) any ways, she was picking at the tape and slowly , every so slowly peeling it off. AHHHHH !
Shoo'd her away. You just hold the ive thingy there. Yes. Rip ! Yelp, tape is gone pull the IV out. One little yelp and it was over, not this on going torture thing.
"Wow, I'm impressed. You did that yourself. "
"Since I"ve been here my pain threshold has gotten much higher. " I inform her.
"Thats ... not a good thing. "
"I know. "

I didn't know it at the time, they let me suffer in ignorance and depression for several more days thinking I had cancer, but this is the test that the doctor just glanced at and decided that's not cancer , it's something else. But we'll get to that later. At least my suffering was getting me somwhere ... so I should be fair about the savagery I was suffering.

Then they decided that they didn't want just x'rays of my lower intestine. Now they wanted the whole shebang, from top to bottom x'rayed. My doctor came in. Informed oh no , it's just a little glass of fluid , only about THIS big , you just drink it down and wait a bit and they start snapping x-rays, no big deal really.
How bad could it be ? Even if it tasted vile I could choke down a small glass fairly quickly , couldn't I ?
it was a BIG HUGE HONKING glass of white stuff. Some kind of vile vanilla like flavor. I downed about half of it while the nurse was babbling on about how i had ten minutes to finish it off or they'd have to start over ... and I had to stop. GROSS !
Oh my god, start over ? This stuff ? I choke the rest of it down over the next eight or so minutes, nightmares of go LYTELY dancing in my head, moaning loudly and long so everyone in the near by vicinity knew I wasn't having a good time.
The nurse came back and told me flatly. Quite complaining and drink it . You're almost out of time. I handed her the empty glass before she could finish her little speach. "Can I have some water ? This stuff is truely vile. "
No water, but they did wipe it off my face. Or should I say scrub it off. It had the consistancy of childrens paste , and it stuck to everything, it would probably make a good glue.
Well , the actual x-rays were no problem. No hoses or anything. Lie on your back , good , turn to your left, good... wait half an hour for the stuff to get a little farther down , yes you can go to the bathroom while you're waiting ... almost a relief really , no torture at all. No water to drink, but no pain.