Ottawa Boy
I do have company insurance, i just never bothered to look it up. Gave the doctor the form, he'll fill it out in a week or so , don't you have a family doctor for this sort of thing ?
Well, as a matter of fact ... thats kind of a long story in itself ...
Note to self. Find a forum where they talk about Crones Disease and put a link on my home page. Might as well start trading rumours early.
Looking back at the experiance, it's easy to see the doctors and nurses did their level headed best to find out what was wrong with me and make me well. But when you're actually going through it , and no one tells you nothing ? MAAAANNNNN !!!!! You brought that complaining upon yourself. Sorry, nature of your business.
Thanks anyways though.
12 days of lying in bed with my feet up. My bum leg doesn't bother me any more. I can even jump up and down on it , one legged (and I'm a heavy guy) with no pain. Walk normal and everything.
Note to self: Find a family doctor.
Sunday, May 29, 2005
Crones Disease
Ottawa Boy
There were a few more tests. But they were nothing , just simple x-rays, the vampire nurse showing up at my bedside every second day to take her quota of blood, I didn't scream when they jabbed me anymore. (The floor nurses are as bad as the emergancy nurses by the way, except for this one nurse who'd been there for years and years, turned out all she did was take blood... again when this expert did it there was no pain at all, didn't even feel the prick. Dang Emergancy Nurse Vampires ! )
Ten days in the hospital under their minstrations and either no food and water at all or just an iv and a few liquids I'm allowed, I'm now two belt sizes smaller.
Biopsies came back. It's not cancer. They're still debating what it is.
Family came down from Toronto after hearing I have cancer. Took a day off work and everything. Got me a hospital TV and a phone and everything. I didn't have the heart to tell them I hate TV. This whole 22 minutes of show and 38 minutes of comercial in an hour.. you're half how tv show is only 11 minutes of show ? Waste of my time ! Brother brought me in a lap top and sister a computer toy of her own as well. But the TV was costing them mony , and you can't borrow money for the rent from them if you let them blow it all on a TV you don't even use , right ? Pretty much was point blank about it. Get rid of the TV. 10$ a day is just ridiculous. Thats 300 a month and they planned on keeping it up as long as it I was in. Get rid of it quick so they'd still have money I could bum from them if need be.
Yes, during my whole hospital visit, I had visions of being told "you're cured ! You can go home now ! " ... " what home ? I missed the rent and they booted me out and I'm now homeless" dancing in my head. The nurse told me I needed to concentrate on other matters and quit worry about it , but what other matters ? You just agree to whatever savagery the doctors want to inflict upon you and wait it out, the rent I could do something about that I couldn't, what do you mean I need other priorities ?
Long story short, I have Crones Disease, a disease with no known cause and no known cure. They think , maybe , it's your immune system attacking your intestines thinking it's a forien object or something, maybe, thats their going theory, but it's not proven. It was hard to diagnose in my case ( ie: many many tortures inflicted upon me) because It usually only attack's the upper small intestines and leaves the lowers alone, but I'm special. Me it was the Colon only and my small intestines turned out to be free of it.
They kept me in suspense for a few days over whether they were going to chop out about 90% of my colon and stitch up the remainder or not, but the fact that that only gives me a "fresh start' , it might and usually did flare up again later anyways, no matter what they did , probably decided them against it.
Drugs, some kind of steroids to reduce inflammation. Tapper it off after two weeks since long term steroids are bad, and wait for the next flare up.
Since I'd been living with minor symptoms of the disease for well on 10 years now before it flared up bad, with no treatement at all. the notion that yea, after they clear up this bout it could be 5 , even 10 more years before the next flare up , seemed pretty reasonable to me. And if the med's stopped working , and if in 5 or 10 years new meds didn't show up on the scene to replace the old's that stopped working , then they operate anyways.
Basically it was a race. I only have so many years left to live, and with flare ups 5 - 10 years apart... I could expect to make it through the rest of my life on meds only. They would only have to fool my immune system a few times before it caught on and made them stop working.
Of course, there's the fact that my face will swell up like a chickmunk while I'm on these steroids, and probably my ankles too... but my prescription only reads for two weeks. Thats livable.
Now my only question was ... how much are these steroids gonna cost me ? Have to hit the pharmacy and find out.
There were a few more tests. But they were nothing , just simple x-rays, the vampire nurse showing up at my bedside every second day to take her quota of blood, I didn't scream when they jabbed me anymore. (The floor nurses are as bad as the emergancy nurses by the way, except for this one nurse who'd been there for years and years, turned out all she did was take blood... again when this expert did it there was no pain at all, didn't even feel the prick. Dang Emergancy Nurse Vampires ! )
Ten days in the hospital under their minstrations and either no food and water at all or just an iv and a few liquids I'm allowed, I'm now two belt sizes smaller.
Biopsies came back. It's not cancer. They're still debating what it is.
Family came down from Toronto after hearing I have cancer. Took a day off work and everything. Got me a hospital TV and a phone and everything. I didn't have the heart to tell them I hate TV. This whole 22 minutes of show and 38 minutes of comercial in an hour.. you're half how tv show is only 11 minutes of show ? Waste of my time ! Brother brought me in a lap top and sister a computer toy of her own as well. But the TV was costing them mony , and you can't borrow money for the rent from them if you let them blow it all on a TV you don't even use , right ? Pretty much was point blank about it. Get rid of the TV. 10$ a day is just ridiculous. Thats 300 a month and they planned on keeping it up as long as it I was in. Get rid of it quick so they'd still have money I could bum from them if need be.
Yes, during my whole hospital visit, I had visions of being told "you're cured ! You can go home now ! " ... " what home ? I missed the rent and they booted me out and I'm now homeless" dancing in my head. The nurse told me I needed to concentrate on other matters and quit worry about it , but what other matters ? You just agree to whatever savagery the doctors want to inflict upon you and wait it out, the rent I could do something about that I couldn't, what do you mean I need other priorities ?
Long story short, I have Crones Disease, a disease with no known cause and no known cure. They think , maybe , it's your immune system attacking your intestines thinking it's a forien object or something, maybe, thats their going theory, but it's not proven. It was hard to diagnose in my case ( ie: many many tortures inflicted upon me) because It usually only attack's the upper small intestines and leaves the lowers alone, but I'm special. Me it was the Colon only and my small intestines turned out to be free of it.
They kept me in suspense for a few days over whether they were going to chop out about 90% of my colon and stitch up the remainder or not, but the fact that that only gives me a "fresh start' , it might and usually did flare up again later anyways, no matter what they did , probably decided them against it.
Drugs, some kind of steroids to reduce inflammation. Tapper it off after two weeks since long term steroids are bad, and wait for the next flare up.
Since I'd been living with minor symptoms of the disease for well on 10 years now before it flared up bad, with no treatement at all. the notion that yea, after they clear up this bout it could be 5 , even 10 more years before the next flare up , seemed pretty reasonable to me. And if the med's stopped working , and if in 5 or 10 years new meds didn't show up on the scene to replace the old's that stopped working , then they operate anyways.
Basically it was a race. I only have so many years left to live, and with flare ups 5 - 10 years apart... I could expect to make it through the rest of my life on meds only. They would only have to fool my immune system a few times before it caught on and made them stop working.
Of course, there's the fact that my face will swell up like a chickmunk while I'm on these steroids, and probably my ankles too... but my prescription only reads for two weeks. Thats livable.
Now my only question was ... how much are these steroids gonna cost me ? Have to hit the pharmacy and find out.
Random Medical Tortures
Ottawa Boy
They gave me a fleet enima. It was'nt bad. This realy thin thing stuck up the down stair case, squirt a little liquid in , hold it for at least two minutes, then go to the bathroom and dump it. I only groaned loudly when it went in , no real screaming per say. It was part of the go-LYTELY thingy to clean me out for the camera. Now that hurt !
Barium Enima. Gonna do the same thing with that little tiny thing the pain will be over in an instant , they'll snap some x-rays, no problem. I'm actually getting used to the pain. Just get it over with quick , don't hesitate to scream a time or two if neccesary, and you barely notice it anymore.
WRONG !!!!!!
They gonna stick this much bigger hose in you. With an air bag on the end , on the end thats INSIDE YOU by the way , so it blocks the way out, and they gonna dump HUGE amounts of barium in there and then they gonna take their pictures.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHH !
The doctor was pissed. I leak like a sieve it seems when you try to stick a hose in there and pump it full of liquid. GOOD ! It's about time they got some of their own back. You're not supposed to be sticking hoses and stuff up peoples backsides and pumping them up like a water balloon ! I have no sympathy at all for them.
But I was pissed when I found out later that they didn't actually have to clean up the mess, they just called house keeping and got some kind of janitor nurse or first year student or something to deal with it.
The student nurse training with the doctor tried to remove my IV ( thats a story in itself. They tried to give me a shot to relax me with it, didn't work...figured out the IV was toast and gave me a regular shot ... AGAIN ... the doctor was an expert , didn't feel a dang thing, just a tiny prick and that was it ... dang vampire emergancy nurses ! ) any ways, she was picking at the tape and slowly , every so slowly peeling it off. AHHHHH !
Shoo'd her away. You just hold the ive thingy there. Yes. Rip ! Yelp, tape is gone pull the IV out. One little yelp and it was over, not this on going torture thing.
"Wow, I'm impressed. You did that yourself. "
"Since I"ve been here my pain threshold has gotten much higher. " I inform her.
"Thats ... not a good thing. "
"I know. "
I didn't know it at the time, they let me suffer in ignorance and depression for several more days thinking I had cancer, but this is the test that the doctor just glanced at and decided that's not cancer , it's something else. But we'll get to that later. At least my suffering was getting me somwhere ... so I should be fair about the savagery I was suffering.
Then they decided that they didn't want just x'rays of my lower intestine. Now they wanted the whole shebang, from top to bottom x'rayed. My doctor came in. Informed oh no , it's just a little glass of fluid , only about THIS big , you just drink it down and wait a bit and they start snapping x-rays, no big deal really.
How bad could it be ? Even if it tasted vile I could choke down a small glass fairly quickly , couldn't I ?
it was a BIG HUGE HONKING glass of white stuff. Some kind of vile vanilla like flavor. I downed about half of it while the nurse was babbling on about how i had ten minutes to finish it off or they'd have to start over ... and I had to stop. GROSS !
Oh my god, start over ? This stuff ? I choke the rest of it down over the next eight or so minutes, nightmares of go LYTELY dancing in my head, moaning loudly and long so everyone in the near by vicinity knew I wasn't having a good time.
The nurse came back and told me flatly. Quite complaining and drink it . You're almost out of time. I handed her the empty glass before she could finish her little speach. "Can I have some water ? This stuff is truely vile. "
No water, but they did wipe it off my face. Or should I say scrub it off. It had the consistancy of childrens paste , and it stuck to everything, it would probably make a good glue.
Well , the actual x-rays were no problem. No hoses or anything. Lie on your back , good , turn to your left, good... wait half an hour for the stuff to get a little farther down , yes you can go to the bathroom while you're waiting ... almost a relief really , no torture at all. No water to drink, but no pain.
They gave me a fleet enima. It was'nt bad. This realy thin thing stuck up the down stair case, squirt a little liquid in , hold it for at least two minutes, then go to the bathroom and dump it. I only groaned loudly when it went in , no real screaming per say. It was part of the go-LYTELY thingy to clean me out for the camera. Now that hurt !
Barium Enima. Gonna do the same thing with that little tiny thing the pain will be over in an instant , they'll snap some x-rays, no problem. I'm actually getting used to the pain. Just get it over with quick , don't hesitate to scream a time or two if neccesary, and you barely notice it anymore.
WRONG !!!!!!
They gonna stick this much bigger hose in you. With an air bag on the end , on the end thats INSIDE YOU by the way , so it blocks the way out, and they gonna dump HUGE amounts of barium in there and then they gonna take their pictures.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHH !
The doctor was pissed. I leak like a sieve it seems when you try to stick a hose in there and pump it full of liquid. GOOD ! It's about time they got some of their own back. You're not supposed to be sticking hoses and stuff up peoples backsides and pumping them up like a water balloon ! I have no sympathy at all for them.
But I was pissed when I found out later that they didn't actually have to clean up the mess, they just called house keeping and got some kind of janitor nurse or first year student or something to deal with it.
The student nurse training with the doctor tried to remove my IV ( thats a story in itself. They tried to give me a shot to relax me with it, didn't work...figured out the IV was toast and gave me a regular shot ... AGAIN ... the doctor was an expert , didn't feel a dang thing, just a tiny prick and that was it ... dang vampire emergancy nurses ! ) any ways, she was picking at the tape and slowly , every so slowly peeling it off. AHHHHH !
Shoo'd her away. You just hold the ive thingy there. Yes. Rip ! Yelp, tape is gone pull the IV out. One little yelp and it was over, not this on going torture thing.
"Wow, I'm impressed. You did that yourself. "
"Since I"ve been here my pain threshold has gotten much higher. " I inform her.
"Thats ... not a good thing. "
"I know. "
I didn't know it at the time, they let me suffer in ignorance and depression for several more days thinking I had cancer, but this is the test that the doctor just glanced at and decided that's not cancer , it's something else. But we'll get to that later. At least my suffering was getting me somwhere ... so I should be fair about the savagery I was suffering.
Then they decided that they didn't want just x'rays of my lower intestine. Now they wanted the whole shebang, from top to bottom x'rayed. My doctor came in. Informed oh no , it's just a little glass of fluid , only about THIS big , you just drink it down and wait a bit and they start snapping x-rays, no big deal really.
How bad could it be ? Even if it tasted vile I could choke down a small glass fairly quickly , couldn't I ?
it was a BIG HUGE HONKING glass of white stuff. Some kind of vile vanilla like flavor. I downed about half of it while the nurse was babbling on about how i had ten minutes to finish it off or they'd have to start over ... and I had to stop. GROSS !
Oh my god, start over ? This stuff ? I choke the rest of it down over the next eight or so minutes, nightmares of go LYTELY dancing in my head, moaning loudly and long so everyone in the near by vicinity knew I wasn't having a good time.
The nurse came back and told me flatly. Quite complaining and drink it . You're almost out of time. I handed her the empty glass before she could finish her little speach. "Can I have some water ? This stuff is truely vile. "
No water, but they did wipe it off my face. Or should I say scrub it off. It had the consistancy of childrens paste , and it stuck to everything, it would probably make a good glue.
Well , the actual x-rays were no problem. No hoses or anything. Lie on your back , good , turn to your left, good... wait half an hour for the stuff to get a little farther down , yes you can go to the bathroom while you're waiting ... almost a relief really , no torture at all. No water to drink, but no pain.
Savage Doctors
Ottawa Boy
I wait until saturday morning. About 5:30 am.
My in with my fave taxi driver to avoid the ravages does me no good because , guess what ? He works late into the night. He's asleep right now.
I' aint bussing it. Not when I'm throwing up at random with little or no warning. Ambulence time.
They go slow , put me on a thin, uncomfortable stretcher. Rag me about how busy the hospital is on saturday mornings. Get there, the waiting room is empty. Yeah , right. You guys are real jokers. I mentally pat myself on the back for avoiding the rush hour and getting a decent nights sleep out of the deal.
Vampiric Nurse. Lets just get a few blood samples going here ... OWWWWWW !
Oh, you're here because you throw up ? Put me on a stretcher right away. Bonus. I can lie down and snooze. Lucky too.
THIRTEEN AND A HALF HOURS LATER , thats right , 13.5 hours ! I get admitted. I protest ! Thats a rediculous wait time ! Thats Insane !
I was prepared. Bag loaded up with books, change of underwear, the whole nine yards. This was the second time in a week after all.
Oh , I really shouldn't complain about the wait. I got an x-ray and a SECOND cat-scan during that waiting period. Did I mention george had to wait a year to get one cat scan and I'd now had two in the same week ? Ok , I'm a complainer, but truth be known george didn't tell me about his year long wait until after this incident , so yeah , I was pissed.
There is a special torture , I mean treatment , in the hearts of all doctors. It's called go-LYTELY (prounounced "go lightly") . Basically they mix up 4 liters (that's right LITERS ! Almost an Imperial Gallon ! ) of this stuff and you gotta drink it so they can do a test of some kind tommorow. So start drinking.
Well... it tasted kind of neutril at first. Then it tasted sickly. Then vile... then it got bad.
The whole night , and until like 3pm the next day , I didn't sleep . I didn't eat. All I did was sip at this go-LYTELY slime and try not to barf it up. It was an unending nightmare ! When I did doze off for a moment All I dreampt about was that it was time for me to take another sip of pig snot , the clock is running , you gotta get this into you or they gonna make you start all over with ANOTHER four liters if the stuff expires.
4 oclock in the after noon rolls around. I got like 90% of the stuff into me. It's flushing out the other end like a water fall. Good enough. They can do their test now.
Yeah ! The nighmare ends ! Hurray !
So , whats that hose thing you're holding in your hand ? Attached to this big rack of equipment including a video camera ? Oh , well now that we've flushed out your lower intestines and got it nice and squeaky clean ? We're going to stick this camera up there and have a look around.
YOU'RE GOING TO DO WHAT ????
Well.. I'm almost done. How bad can it be ? And they were going to give me some kind of narcotics to relax you. People do this sort of thing for entertainment right ? Homosexuals and stuff ? You always hear stories of them winding up in the hospital because they had some object , even a glass or something stuck up there. It can't be THAT bad !
Apparently they could here the screaming from the far side of the hospital.
It's jammed. It's blocked, it won't go in any farther.
Oh my god please stop.
Don't worry , i"m an expert ! Jam it harder !
AAAAAHHHHHHH !!!!
Hmm... still doesn't fit. Oh well. Still got some good images , just can't do the whole colan. And we'll take a biopsy and see what shows up.
People do this for entertainment ? Pain is fun ?
Sigh... it's finally over.
My sister , and my brother, and my friend george has shown up. We chat with the nurse while the doctor is writing stuff up he'll talk to me in a few moments.
"Do we know what it is ? " I ask.
"Yes, but I can't tell you. "
"Is it curable ? "
"Yes. "
Ok then.
Doctor walks in.
"Don't worry , she said it was curable. You can say it in front of them, I don't mind. "
Doctor looks at this small crowd of people, and then at me. Sigh. Says one word.
"Cancer. "
I wait until saturday morning. About 5:30 am.
My in with my fave taxi driver to avoid the ravages does me no good because , guess what ? He works late into the night. He's asleep right now.
I' aint bussing it. Not when I'm throwing up at random with little or no warning. Ambulence time.
They go slow , put me on a thin, uncomfortable stretcher. Rag me about how busy the hospital is on saturday mornings. Get there, the waiting room is empty. Yeah , right. You guys are real jokers. I mentally pat myself on the back for avoiding the rush hour and getting a decent nights sleep out of the deal.
Vampiric Nurse. Lets just get a few blood samples going here ... OWWWWWW !
Oh, you're here because you throw up ? Put me on a stretcher right away. Bonus. I can lie down and snooze. Lucky too.
THIRTEEN AND A HALF HOURS LATER , thats right , 13.5 hours ! I get admitted. I protest ! Thats a rediculous wait time ! Thats Insane !
I was prepared. Bag loaded up with books, change of underwear, the whole nine yards. This was the second time in a week after all.
Oh , I really shouldn't complain about the wait. I got an x-ray and a SECOND cat-scan during that waiting period. Did I mention george had to wait a year to get one cat scan and I'd now had two in the same week ? Ok , I'm a complainer, but truth be known george didn't tell me about his year long wait until after this incident , so yeah , I was pissed.
There is a special torture , I mean treatment , in the hearts of all doctors. It's called go-LYTELY (prounounced "go lightly") . Basically they mix up 4 liters (that's right LITERS ! Almost an Imperial Gallon ! ) of this stuff and you gotta drink it so they can do a test of some kind tommorow. So start drinking.
Well... it tasted kind of neutril at first. Then it tasted sickly. Then vile... then it got bad.
The whole night , and until like 3pm the next day , I didn't sleep . I didn't eat. All I did was sip at this go-LYTELY slime and try not to barf it up. It was an unending nightmare ! When I did doze off for a moment All I dreampt about was that it was time for me to take another sip of pig snot , the clock is running , you gotta get this into you or they gonna make you start all over with ANOTHER four liters if the stuff expires.
4 oclock in the after noon rolls around. I got like 90% of the stuff into me. It's flushing out the other end like a water fall. Good enough. They can do their test now.
Yeah ! The nighmare ends ! Hurray !
So , whats that hose thing you're holding in your hand ? Attached to this big rack of equipment including a video camera ? Oh , well now that we've flushed out your lower intestines and got it nice and squeaky clean ? We're going to stick this camera up there and have a look around.
YOU'RE GOING TO DO WHAT ????
Well.. I'm almost done. How bad can it be ? And they were going to give me some kind of narcotics to relax you. People do this sort of thing for entertainment right ? Homosexuals and stuff ? You always hear stories of them winding up in the hospital because they had some object , even a glass or something stuck up there. It can't be THAT bad !
Apparently they could here the screaming from the far side of the hospital.
It's jammed. It's blocked, it won't go in any farther.
Oh my god please stop.
Don't worry , i"m an expert ! Jam it harder !
AAAAAHHHHHHH !!!!
Hmm... still doesn't fit. Oh well. Still got some good images , just can't do the whole colan. And we'll take a biopsy and see what shows up.
People do this for entertainment ? Pain is fun ?
Sigh... it's finally over.
My sister , and my brother, and my friend george has shown up. We chat with the nurse while the doctor is writing stuff up he'll talk to me in a few moments.
"Do we know what it is ? " I ask.
"Yes, but I can't tell you. "
"Is it curable ? "
"Yes. "
Ok then.
Doctor walks in.
"Don't worry , she said it was curable. You can say it in front of them, I don't mind. "
Doctor looks at this small crowd of people, and then at me. Sigh. Says one word.
"Cancer. "
First Hospital Visit
Ottawa Boy
Congratulations. You have "diver ticulitus" (probably misspelled it) . Basically small holes in your colon ( the part of your intestine just before the digested food exits your body) and it leaks, causing an abcess. That's what we're feeling on our tests. Will just give you some anti-bodies for a few days and yer out of here.
This kills monday and tuesday , my days off, with me hooked up with a constant iv in my arm leaking stuff into me. Wednesday they kick me out.
A HUNDRED AND TWENTY THREE dollars in anti-biotics ? And I had to pay that cash out of pocket too since I don't have insurance. I pay up and keep the receipte. I noticed something or other on my company web site about insurance. Never checked into it, but for a hundred plus bucks that would be the first order of business when I get home.
Well , my doctors note carries me over so I don't have to go to work until tuesday. But monday is queen victorias day , double time and a half , but you have to work the day before as well. And my work schedule has me booked for sunday and monday. And all I do is sit at a desk and answer phones, I can go back a little early , right ? So I'll just lounge around until saturday, maybe even show up at work saturday just to make it look good, and hey, it's a free holiday with a get out of jail free card ( doctors note) and no regrets.
Friday morning my wife gets up at five to go to work. I have to get up anyways to take the anti biotics. I have half a glass of water.
And throw it up.
I wait a bit. She has to go , and if I'm going to be off work I don't want her off too, someone's gotta pay rent, I almost literally boot her out. I'm already shy a couple of days pay lets not make this any worse.
Time rolls around again for my meds. Try taking just one pill , some water. Wait.
Twenty minutes later, I up chuck it into a bucket. A HUNDRED AND TWENTY THREE DOLLARS that I paid out of my pocket is now winding up in the dang bucket instead of my belly where it can do me some good. Now I'm pissed off.
And it's friday again. Everything in the hospital is closed. No x-rays. No ultra sounds. Just a four hour wait to see a doctor to be told "yup. You're a sick puppy. Pity everything is closed. We WILL call you tommorow. "
Now I'm really pissed off.
Congratulations. You have "diver ticulitus" (probably misspelled it) . Basically small holes in your colon ( the part of your intestine just before the digested food exits your body) and it leaks, causing an abcess. That's what we're feeling on our tests. Will just give you some anti-bodies for a few days and yer out of here.
This kills monday and tuesday , my days off, with me hooked up with a constant iv in my arm leaking stuff into me. Wednesday they kick me out.
A HUNDRED AND TWENTY THREE dollars in anti-biotics ? And I had to pay that cash out of pocket too since I don't have insurance. I pay up and keep the receipte. I noticed something or other on my company web site about insurance. Never checked into it, but for a hundred plus bucks that would be the first order of business when I get home.
Well , my doctors note carries me over so I don't have to go to work until tuesday. But monday is queen victorias day , double time and a half , but you have to work the day before as well. And my work schedule has me booked for sunday and monday. And all I do is sit at a desk and answer phones, I can go back a little early , right ? So I'll just lounge around until saturday, maybe even show up at work saturday just to make it look good, and hey, it's a free holiday with a get out of jail free card ( doctors note) and no regrets.
Friday morning my wife gets up at five to go to work. I have to get up anyways to take the anti biotics. I have half a glass of water.
And throw it up.
I wait a bit. She has to go , and if I'm going to be off work I don't want her off too, someone's gotta pay rent, I almost literally boot her out. I'm already shy a couple of days pay lets not make this any worse.
Time rolls around again for my meds. Try taking just one pill , some water. Wait.
Twenty minutes later, I up chuck it into a bucket. A HUNDRED AND TWENTY THREE DOLLARS that I paid out of my pocket is now winding up in the dang bucket instead of my belly where it can do me some good. Now I'm pissed off.
And it's friday again. Everything in the hospital is closed. No x-rays. No ultra sounds. Just a four hour wait to see a doctor to be told "yup. You're a sick puppy. Pity everything is closed. We WILL call you tommorow. "
Now I'm really pissed off.
Evil Vampiric Nurses
Ottawa Boy
So I arrive at the hospital. On a friday afternoon, note in hand specifying an ultra sound test, at about five thirty. Receptionist / Nurse / Whatever she is takes my ohip card, the note. Says ok. Take a seat.
I take a seat.
Twenty minutes later my name is called. Wow, and this place is crowded too ! A doctor already !
Nope. Just a clerk. Name , address, your hospital card is 10 years out of date, lets update the info and give you a new one. Stuff like that. Thanks, have a seat.
I cannot help but notice an annoying sign off to the side. Waiting time to see a doctor is 3-4 hours.
Six thirty or so rolls around. Nurse calls my name . Ultrasound test ? No. Just blood work.
Emergancy room nurses are the most jaded nurses on the face of the planet. The rules say I must count down 3 - 2 -1 ... but no, I don't want to see it coming just jab me with the stupid thing and get it over with quick. "Sorry, against proceedure."
"But ... "
" three two , one, it's going in now"
Naturally , distracted as I am , I look at her, and then where she's looking ( my arm where's jabbing me) at that point without thinking, it's just human nature to do that.
OWWWWWW !
She tried to hide the smile , but failed.
Well, it's only one needle, then they just change the little vial on the end so they can get as many little vials of blood as they want from one needle jab, so I didn't have to go through that again. But gawd ! She did that on purpose , I swear she did !
Blood tests will take an hour. You can continue to wait for the doctor now, and when he see's you he'll have the blood tests to look at as well as his examination.
Nine thirty rolls around. Does the hands pressing on my belly thing. Thinks about it for a while. Then goes and gets a more senior doctor. This guy does the same thing but he's a lot rougher about it. "You need an x-ray. " he said.
"I thought I was in for an ultra sound. "
"Ultra sound department closes at four thirty on fridays. "
Stupid little $#^&&$% Nurse ! Probably knew that the moment I walked in the door and didn't tell me !
"We're going to get you an x-ray. Wait here"
An hour later. "X-Ray department is booked up. They WILL call you tommorow for an appointment. " (Saturday)
I've heard this before. "Can I get a phone number ? "
Just use the regular hospital one. They WILL call you, he repeats with a bit more emphasis on the word WILL.
Five am saturday. Wife gets up to go to work. I move over to her room, which has a phone (We SLEEP together, but we don't sleep together, if you know what I mean. Snoring and all that. ) and I basically sleep by the phone all day.
Four o'clock in the afternoon rolls around. I've already called them and gotten a hospital operater who informs me that the department is closed until monday. No call from them. I go to work.
Four o'clock sunday afternoon rolls around. No call. I go to work again.
Monday I have off (I have a weird schedule, I never get weekends off ... which it seems is lucky since half the hospital is closed on weekends anyways) I sleep by the phone anways, figuring I'll camp on their door step later when I get up and find out whats going on. I get the call.
Go in. The x-ray has now been upgraded to a cat-scan. Well, my friend george waited a year to get a cat-scan , I guess I shouldn't complain. Lie on this narrow bed , my hands up , while they pass me through this metal donut and x-ray the heck out of me from all angles, no doubt creating a nifty three dimensional image. Can I see ? No.
All done. I have lunch , catch a bus home.
Wife is screaming at me. You have to go back. They want you immediately. Don't worry , a doctor left a note at the emergancy department.
Sigh. Call a taxi driver friend (There's a taxi strike going on at this time, but I have an in with a specific driver and he usually shows up in 5-15 min , a lot faster than even non strike times for a regular taxi company) and I'm off to the hospital again.
Ok. I'm back. Doc left a note. Here's my health card.
Note ? What note ? They search a message board full of notes they have pinned up there. No note.
Have a seat , luckily I remembered the name of the doctor, they just hunted him down and asked him.
While we're waiting, we'll just take some blood samples ... OWWWW !
I'm just beginning to hate these emergancy room nurses.
Oh , At this point I need to stop and mention something. Earlier in the day when I had my cat scan ? The nurse injected me with iodine. She didn't do the 321 count down. She waited for me to look away , and she'd been at this for years. I didn't feel a dang thing when the needle went in. Not even a little prick. She was an expert.
I REALLY am beginning to dislike these emergancy room nurses.
Several hours later , the doctors finally get around to me. And admit me . I'm now suddenly an inmate of this place. No warning, no chance to bring a change of underwear, nothing. The phone is on the wall around the corner. A porter will be down in a few moments to take you to this room. Get in this wheel chair. Welcome prisoner 999 (or whatever ) , you're coming with us.
So I arrive at the hospital. On a friday afternoon, note in hand specifying an ultra sound test, at about five thirty. Receptionist / Nurse / Whatever she is takes my ohip card, the note. Says ok. Take a seat.
I take a seat.
Twenty minutes later my name is called. Wow, and this place is crowded too ! A doctor already !
Nope. Just a clerk. Name , address, your hospital card is 10 years out of date, lets update the info and give you a new one. Stuff like that. Thanks, have a seat.
I cannot help but notice an annoying sign off to the side. Waiting time to see a doctor is 3-4 hours.
Six thirty or so rolls around. Nurse calls my name . Ultrasound test ? No. Just blood work.
Emergancy room nurses are the most jaded nurses on the face of the planet. The rules say I must count down 3 - 2 -1 ... but no, I don't want to see it coming just jab me with the stupid thing and get it over with quick. "Sorry, against proceedure."
"But ... "
" three two , one, it's going in now"
Naturally , distracted as I am , I look at her, and then where she's looking ( my arm where's jabbing me) at that point without thinking, it's just human nature to do that.
OWWWWWW !
She tried to hide the smile , but failed.
Well, it's only one needle, then they just change the little vial on the end so they can get as many little vials of blood as they want from one needle jab, so I didn't have to go through that again. But gawd ! She did that on purpose , I swear she did !
Blood tests will take an hour. You can continue to wait for the doctor now, and when he see's you he'll have the blood tests to look at as well as his examination.
Nine thirty rolls around. Does the hands pressing on my belly thing. Thinks about it for a while. Then goes and gets a more senior doctor. This guy does the same thing but he's a lot rougher about it. "You need an x-ray. " he said.
"I thought I was in for an ultra sound. "
"Ultra sound department closes at four thirty on fridays. "
Stupid little $#^&&$% Nurse ! Probably knew that the moment I walked in the door and didn't tell me !
"We're going to get you an x-ray. Wait here"
An hour later. "X-Ray department is booked up. They WILL call you tommorow for an appointment. " (Saturday)
I've heard this before. "Can I get a phone number ? "
Just use the regular hospital one. They WILL call you, he repeats with a bit more emphasis on the word WILL.
Five am saturday. Wife gets up to go to work. I move over to her room, which has a phone (We SLEEP together, but we don't sleep together, if you know what I mean. Snoring and all that. ) and I basically sleep by the phone all day.
Four o'clock in the afternoon rolls around. I've already called them and gotten a hospital operater who informs me that the department is closed until monday. No call from them. I go to work.
Four o'clock sunday afternoon rolls around. No call. I go to work again.
Monday I have off (I have a weird schedule, I never get weekends off ... which it seems is lucky since half the hospital is closed on weekends anyways) I sleep by the phone anways, figuring I'll camp on their door step later when I get up and find out whats going on. I get the call.
Go in. The x-ray has now been upgraded to a cat-scan. Well, my friend george waited a year to get a cat-scan , I guess I shouldn't complain. Lie on this narrow bed , my hands up , while they pass me through this metal donut and x-ray the heck out of me from all angles, no doubt creating a nifty three dimensional image. Can I see ? No.
All done. I have lunch , catch a bus home.
Wife is screaming at me. You have to go back. They want you immediately. Don't worry , a doctor left a note at the emergancy department.
Sigh. Call a taxi driver friend (There's a taxi strike going on at this time, but I have an in with a specific driver and he usually shows up in 5-15 min , a lot faster than even non strike times for a regular taxi company) and I'm off to the hospital again.
Ok. I'm back. Doc left a note. Here's my health card.
Note ? What note ? They search a message board full of notes they have pinned up there. No note.
Have a seat , luckily I remembered the name of the doctor, they just hunted him down and asked him.
While we're waiting, we'll just take some blood samples ... OWWWW !
I'm just beginning to hate these emergancy room nurses.
Oh , At this point I need to stop and mention something. Earlier in the day when I had my cat scan ? The nurse injected me with iodine. She didn't do the 321 count down. She waited for me to look away , and she'd been at this for years. I didn't feel a dang thing when the needle went in. Not even a little prick. She was an expert.
I REALLY am beginning to dislike these emergancy room nurses.
Several hours later , the doctors finally get around to me. And admit me . I'm now suddenly an inmate of this place. No warning, no chance to bring a change of underwear, nothing. The phone is on the wall around the corner. A porter will be down in a few moments to take you to this room. Get in this wheel chair. Welcome prisoner 999 (or whatever ) , you're coming with us.
The Quest for a family doctor
Ottawa Boy
So. Four days later , as required by my doctor but not quite a family doctor please drop in anytime so I can bill OHIP (free medical insurance up here in canada) but don't call me a family doctor and expect me to do all the paper work that goes with it doctor , I go hunting for a family doctor.
I wanted to just make a few phone calls, but no, my wife works in the medical industry , she knows better. We'll just go to her family doctor !
Hop in the car and begin our little quest. Feed the driver, get dropped off at a clinic. First words out of my mouth before we even tell them our names. "Are you accepting new patients ? I need a family doctor. "
"We always accept walk ins , but as for the family doctor ...." yadda yadda yadda , long practiced speach that amounts to "no."
Turn to my wife. "Lets blow this joint. " We left.
Up the street , another clinic. Yes, they are accepting new patients for a family doctor. Yes we can see you as a walk in too for that leg you're obviously limping on.
Two o'clock.
This is a friday by the way , rush hour time when everyone gets off work and decides nows the time to clean up a few details since they have the whole week end ahead.
Four o'clock. Doctor see's me. Looks at my ankle. It's ok. Not great, I still limp , but I aint on crutches anymore. Looks at my belly. Puts is hands on it, pushes down here and there, he can feel something just like the last doctor. More pain ? Yes. On medication ? Yes, brought the box with me since I knew I'd never remember the name. Turn's out it's just an anti-acid of some kind.
Nope, anti acid not working , probably not your stomache.
"So , you'll be my family doctor , right ? "
"You don't need a family doctor, you need a surgeon boy. Get yea to the hostipital. " (I'm paraphrasing , he was actually a lot nicer spoken than that). He was going to call me an ambulance, but I had a ride and I said I'd go there directly.
I was half way to the hospital . "Nuts ! I still don't have a family doctor ! "
So. Four days later , as required by my doctor but not quite a family doctor please drop in anytime so I can bill OHIP (free medical insurance up here in canada) but don't call me a family doctor and expect me to do all the paper work that goes with it doctor , I go hunting for a family doctor.
I wanted to just make a few phone calls, but no, my wife works in the medical industry , she knows better. We'll just go to her family doctor !
Hop in the car and begin our little quest. Feed the driver, get dropped off at a clinic. First words out of my mouth before we even tell them our names. "Are you accepting new patients ? I need a family doctor. "
"We always accept walk ins , but as for the family doctor ...." yadda yadda yadda , long practiced speach that amounts to "no."
Turn to my wife. "Lets blow this joint. " We left.
Up the street , another clinic. Yes, they are accepting new patients for a family doctor. Yes we can see you as a walk in too for that leg you're obviously limping on.
Two o'clock.
This is a friday by the way , rush hour time when everyone gets off work and decides nows the time to clean up a few details since they have the whole week end ahead.
Four o'clock. Doctor see's me. Looks at my ankle. It's ok. Not great, I still limp , but I aint on crutches anymore. Looks at my belly. Puts is hands on it, pushes down here and there, he can feel something just like the last doctor. More pain ? Yes. On medication ? Yes, brought the box with me since I knew I'd never remember the name. Turn's out it's just an anti-acid of some kind.
Nope, anti acid not working , probably not your stomache.
"So , you'll be my family doctor , right ? "
"You don't need a family doctor, you need a surgeon boy. Get yea to the hostipital. " (I'm paraphrasing , he was actually a lot nicer spoken than that). He was going to call me an ambulance, but I had a ride and I said I'd go there directly.
I was half way to the hospital . "Nuts ! I still don't have a family doctor ! "
Sunday, May 08, 2005
Mr. Bum Leg !
Ottawa Boy
Ok. I twisted my ankle , and then proceeded to walk on it to and from work for a couple of days. (a twenty minute walk each way).
Got my two day weekend off , and lay down , and guess what ? Couldn't get back up again !
Two days later I'm thinking I can't go to work like this , whats wrong , it was working before I got my weekened ?
Painfully struggle into some dirty clothing and limp across the street to the medical clinic. About 20 minutes.
Thats right , 20 minutes of painful limping with not merely a few "Ow !" 's just to get across the street.
19-1990 St-Laurent, Ottawa, Ontario K1G1A4 , 613 731 4770 AIM Health Group Elmvale Medical Center (Yeah , this is going to be another rant about bad service )
So I get in there, wait my usual half hour or hour to see the doctor. She looks at my ankle. First words out of her mouth. "Where are your crutches ?"
"What crutches ? " I innocently ask.
She seemed to think that was pretty funny.
Long and short of it, get some crutches, keep your weight off that foot.
Back to the receptionist. I know I'm not going to make it to work today , and I know they're going to demand a doctors note. Receptionist reports to me "10 dollars" for the note. No problem. Lay down my credit card.
"We only take cash. "
Oh oh.
I limp down to the far end of the shopping mall (no crutches) hit the bank machine, limp back , give the little vampire her money. "I'll see if I have change for a twenty. "
Luckily , the doctor in back did. It only comes out of the bank machine in twenties up here, by the way.
"Thank you. " I tell her politely , tucking away my hard won doctors note thats gonna get me a few days off work , hopefully with pay the way my company works.
"Here's a coupon for a 7% discount on any medical supplies you might need. " she said, handing it over. The interesting part was that she didn't just hand it over, she actually sat there and filled out a fair amount of paper work before handing it over. Name address, the whole nine yards.
"Thanks again. " I said, tucking it in the pocket I use for stuff I'm gonna toss in the nearest trash can next time I pass one. " The doc said you would tell me where I could get some crutches ?"
"I have no idea , ask at the pharmacy next door. "
A little annoyed, I left. Now that I write this blog entry , I realize that she probably should have pointed to me the map on the back of that seven percent coupon, but that didn't actually occur to me until much later.
Hit the pharmacy. Was about to ask around when low and behold , guess what I spotted hidden away behind a rack of walking canes ? The last two pairs of crutches in the store, it seemed. Limp limp limp .. before someone else gets there first. Only $40 , not too bad, I would have paid more, but then again I was in a lot of pain.
Pay up , take off the wrapping , begin the slow crippled man walk back home across the street. I wasn't any faster, but it was a lot less painful I had to admit.
Oh , crutches hurt your underarms like crazy , you'll find yourself wanting to get rid of them as quick as possible and walk normal.
Normally , I avoid the phone , I never answer it, it's in my wifes name even. But today I was expecting a call back from my boss asking why I had called in sick. No one is more happy to answer the phone than a man with a hard earned sick note in his pocket who plans on showing up for work in a day or two limping around in crutches.
Ring ring !
It wasn't the boss. It was a medical student who wanted me to help him out with something. Survey , sales, charity , I didn't know. I didn't know for two reasons. One, he'd asked for me by name, personally , despite the phone being in my wifes name. And two , the only medical estabishment I'd given out my phone number to in the last two years was the clinic across the street I'd just finished visiting. Oh , and three, because I promptly hung up on him. Why ? Because it was pretty obvious that the Clinic had sold my phone number to advertisers and now every tom dick and harry would be phoning up trying to sell me something.
I think the most insulting part was that it had only been two hours between my visit and that first sales call. It was the efficiancy of it all that just burned me.
Ok. I twisted my ankle , and then proceeded to walk on it to and from work for a couple of days. (a twenty minute walk each way).
Got my two day weekend off , and lay down , and guess what ? Couldn't get back up again !
Two days later I'm thinking I can't go to work like this , whats wrong , it was working before I got my weekened ?
Painfully struggle into some dirty clothing and limp across the street to the medical clinic. About 20 minutes.
Thats right , 20 minutes of painful limping with not merely a few "Ow !" 's just to get across the street.
19-1990 St-Laurent, Ottawa, Ontario K1G1A4 , 613 731 4770 AIM Health Group Elmvale Medical Center (Yeah , this is going to be another rant about bad service )
So I get in there, wait my usual half hour or hour to see the doctor. She looks at my ankle. First words out of her mouth. "Where are your crutches ?"
"What crutches ? " I innocently ask.
She seemed to think that was pretty funny.
Long and short of it, get some crutches, keep your weight off that foot.
Back to the receptionist. I know I'm not going to make it to work today , and I know they're going to demand a doctors note. Receptionist reports to me "10 dollars" for the note. No problem. Lay down my credit card.
"We only take cash. "
Oh oh.
I limp down to the far end of the shopping mall (no crutches) hit the bank machine, limp back , give the little vampire her money. "I'll see if I have change for a twenty. "
Luckily , the doctor in back did. It only comes out of the bank machine in twenties up here, by the way.
"Thank you. " I tell her politely , tucking away my hard won doctors note thats gonna get me a few days off work , hopefully with pay the way my company works.
"Here's a coupon for a 7% discount on any medical supplies you might need. " she said, handing it over. The interesting part was that she didn't just hand it over, she actually sat there and filled out a fair amount of paper work before handing it over. Name address, the whole nine yards.
"Thanks again. " I said, tucking it in the pocket I use for stuff I'm gonna toss in the nearest trash can next time I pass one. " The doc said you would tell me where I could get some crutches ?"
"I have no idea , ask at the pharmacy next door. "
A little annoyed, I left. Now that I write this blog entry , I realize that she probably should have pointed to me the map on the back of that seven percent coupon, but that didn't actually occur to me until much later.
Hit the pharmacy. Was about to ask around when low and behold , guess what I spotted hidden away behind a rack of walking canes ? The last two pairs of crutches in the store, it seemed. Limp limp limp .. before someone else gets there first. Only $40 , not too bad, I would have paid more, but then again I was in a lot of pain.
Pay up , take off the wrapping , begin the slow crippled man walk back home across the street. I wasn't any faster, but it was a lot less painful I had to admit.
Oh , crutches hurt your underarms like crazy , you'll find yourself wanting to get rid of them as quick as possible and walk normal.
Normally , I avoid the phone , I never answer it, it's in my wifes name even. But today I was expecting a call back from my boss asking why I had called in sick. No one is more happy to answer the phone than a man with a hard earned sick note in his pocket who plans on showing up for work in a day or two limping around in crutches.
Ring ring !
It wasn't the boss. It was a medical student who wanted me to help him out with something. Survey , sales, charity , I didn't know. I didn't know for two reasons. One, he'd asked for me by name, personally , despite the phone being in my wifes name. And two , the only medical estabishment I'd given out my phone number to in the last two years was the clinic across the street I'd just finished visiting. Oh , and three, because I promptly hung up on him. Why ? Because it was pretty obvious that the Clinic had sold my phone number to advertisers and now every tom dick and harry would be phoning up trying to sell me something.
I think the most insulting part was that it had only been two hours between my visit and that first sales call. It was the efficiancy of it all that just burned me.
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
The Hundred Million Dollar Man
Ottawa Boy
Ok. Canadian Prime Minister Paul Martin is on the Hot Seat, is government teetering because of the hundred million dollars that went missing when he was finance minister (thus my favorite title for him) and his only comment is (on national tv) to apologize for not being more vigilent.
And of course, I"ve been dodging the whole issue.
Lets face it. It doesn't interest me. I got disgusted with him when he got elected despite the scandel. Now I'm merely disappointed that he was in power for so long, that he managed to damage control it so much that he lasted this far.
Would you hire a man to run your corperation who had a hundrel mil vanish while he was on watch ? Oh , and he has his own private company as well and it's suddenly doing very well right now ...
At most I hope he teams up with the NDP and throws a bone or two my way before his government falls, but even that is just wishful thinking.
What really burns me is the blatent "anti people" attitude most newspapers have. It's ok to throw the big companies (such as newspapers and their advertisors) a few bones, heck a lot of bones, it's expected even. But it's not ok to do that to the comman man.
When was the last time I got a cut on my taxes , after all ? When was the last time I got told "we guarentee your pension ?" instead of "You know, that pension fund the government set up and is taking money from you every paycheck ? It's gonna be bankrupt by the time you need to collect so you wont get a dime ..and no , we're still gonna take it off your paycheck anyways ..."
All I get is NDP jokes comparing them to a zoo , and how somehow giving money to us smucks is an evil thing. I may not know much about their policies and beliefs, but they honestly try. The others do not. And what could be bad about simple honesty and taking care of the workers ?
Ok. Canadian Prime Minister Paul Martin is on the Hot Seat, is government teetering because of the hundred million dollars that went missing when he was finance minister (thus my favorite title for him) and his only comment is (on national tv) to apologize for not being more vigilent.
And of course, I"ve been dodging the whole issue.
Lets face it. It doesn't interest me. I got disgusted with him when he got elected despite the scandel. Now I'm merely disappointed that he was in power for so long, that he managed to damage control it so much that he lasted this far.
Would you hire a man to run your corperation who had a hundrel mil vanish while he was on watch ? Oh , and he has his own private company as well and it's suddenly doing very well right now ...
At most I hope he teams up with the NDP and throws a bone or two my way before his government falls, but even that is just wishful thinking.
What really burns me is the blatent "anti people" attitude most newspapers have. It's ok to throw the big companies (such as newspapers and their advertisors) a few bones, heck a lot of bones, it's expected even. But it's not ok to do that to the comman man.
When was the last time I got a cut on my taxes , after all ? When was the last time I got told "we guarentee your pension ?" instead of "You know, that pension fund the government set up and is taking money from you every paycheck ? It's gonna be bankrupt by the time you need to collect so you wont get a dime ..and no , we're still gonna take it off your paycheck anyways ..."
All I get is NDP jokes comparing them to a zoo , and how somehow giving money to us smucks is an evil thing. I may not know much about their policies and beliefs, but they honestly try. The others do not. And what could be bad about simple honesty and taking care of the workers ?
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