Feb 2 - 16 Hospital Visit

Jan 31
Havn't been eating for a few days, weak, but I had a doctors appointment with my doctor for today , so rather than go and spend 6+ hrs in emergancy to find out it's nothing I waited for the appointment and , feeling like crap , went to the doctor.

After a full out examination lasting a total of 30 seconds he proclaimed "We're going to admit you." And sent me down to emergancy. Well... not quite that fast. There was a perc bag hanging on my belly , slowly draining puss from an old abcess they'd put in long ago. The hose stuck in my belly had , after 8 or so months worked it's way to the surface and was now sticking out. He removed it and you know, I never realized how sharp the end of that hose was ? They really cut it so it was nice and pointy , probably so it could go in easy in the first place. No wonder I had so much trouble bending over every day ! I was stabbing myself with every movement !

Anyways , it was out, and I was off to emergancy to get admitted.

Not quite.

He admitted me for shortness of breath , thinking it was the pulmonary embolism I had before. Wanted a cat scan for it. Some doctor in emergancy noticed I was on Coumadin , to prevent a reoccurence, did an INR test and some other blood test to detect blood clotting and came to the conclusion that I couldn't possibly have an embolism. (To his credit he was right, My doctor was actually using that as an excuse to bypass the long line ups) . He would have written me a perscription , but since I was admitted by my doctor , my doctor had to write it.

they gave me a note to tell my doctor to write such and such a perscription, patted me on the head , and sent me home WITHOUT DOING A DAMB THING for me !

Next day phone my doctor. Oh , can't write a perscription without examining me. Earliest appointment was the day after.

Day after... (feb 2) go to him, and get the bums rush right back to emergancy. This time he took more time with me , kicked over a few tin cans or whatever it is they do when they go talk with other doctors, and this time around I got admitted. Oh , and the perscription ? My doctor tossed the note out , stating it wouldn't help me a bit.

Still...three days and no treatment ! sheesh !

Turns out my Crohns Disease had caused a blockage in my intestines somewhere , food wasn't moving , and of course I was slowly starving to death despite the fact that my belly was so full I couldn't put more food into it.

For a while they thought they might have to operate, but the matter eventually cleared up on it's own. Two weeks of hospital time felt like I was in jail though. You can only lie in bed staring at the ceiling for so long. Of course there was relief from the bordom. Like the time I snuck down to the cafeteria to eat a hamberger or two after they said I was allowed to eat again.
Spent two days throwing up after that. They were pissed, since they were about to release me and suddenly I was up chucking this black gunk from the bottom of my suddenly empty belly every two hours. And I was none too quiet about it either, you could hear me across half the floor when I got going.
They finally stuck a tube down my nose and into my belly and attached it to a vacuum pump , and I stopped ralphing up the gunk after that , ,though the container filled up pretty quick with black gunk. That was pretty desgusting. Anyone would throw up with that stuff in their belly. Of course, I probably should mention that when they stuck the tube in me ? It also was gross going down. They're not actually cutting anything , so it's not "pain" that you feel. But you're body definately doesn't like it, and I more or less freaked out going "ahhhh ahhhh ahhh !" waving my hands around and everything when they did it. 24hrs later I barely noticed the tube was there.

but that was nothing next to the unusual torture they call a "cathader" (sp?). What is a cathader you might ask ? (and I did ask , to the male nurse I had that day).

blah blah lots of medical terms blah blah measure out put of your bladder blah blah ... tube of some kind..blah blah...

Hmmm... tube , bladder. Now how would you get a tube into my bladder without a major operation ?
I looked at the male nurse. "You're going to stick a tube up my dick ?"
Yup. Thats what he was talking about.

A GUY STUCK A TUBE UP MY DICK !!!!
This was just about the ultimate indignity. Hurt like hell too.

The ultimate indignity came the next day when the cathader stopped working and I suddenly had this urge to go for a piss. Well, I got a tube up my dick , right ? I don't actually have to get up , I can just cut loose and it will go into the bag , right ?
Suddenly there was a fountain between my legs, and I quickly stopped that and called for the (male ) nurse. "Youre cathader is broken. " I informed him angrilly. Angrilly, because they hadn't put it in because something was broken, they'd put it in so they could '" more accurately measure" my output.
When it came it out it was quick , but painful. I only screamed once.

Lemme see. By my count , Guys have stuck hoses up my rear, up my dick , and up my nose in this past year. I'm just not a virgin anywhere anymore.